Sweat drips down my face as I determinedly race on the
elliptical. As means of distraction from my discomfort and fatigue, I flip
through the channels on the television that is propped in front of me for that
specific purpose. I cursorily look around the gym and notice the women on other
cardio machines looking as tired as I feel.
We all look the same: restlessly trekking on these machines
while secretly people watching and counting down the minutes. My pace
decreases, so I refocus my attention on the screen ahead and search for the inspiration
to continue. Commercials are on every channel. Brawny Paper towels: a calm
youthful mother easily cleans up countless spills created by her well-intentioned
but oblivious family. Smiling faces of her husband, children, and dog all
gravitate towards her while leaving a trail of chaotic mess.
Next commercial. Ziplock bags: a suburban family barbeques
in the backyard, with dad dutifully stationed at the grill. His complete
attention is on the grill, unknowingly throwing meat into the trashcan until
his wife swoops in and catches a steak on a plate.
The not-so-subtle gender norm reinforcing commercials are just
as endless as they are exhausting to watch. Media bombards us with images and
messages of unrealistic expectations. Women are expected to always be one step
ahead and gracefully handle any catastrophe at a moments notice, in heels, with
polished nails, and perfect makeup. How did our expectations of women become so
out of control?
Women have been forced to carry an increasingly heavy burden
on their shoulders. We are silently being crushed under the weight of these
demands. Increasing demands confuse our priorities and motivations. The
technological era has tricked us into believing we can be productive beyond our
actual capabilities. By trying to have everything, we are not fully engaged in anything. The quality of what we are
able to commit ourselves to is limited. Our attention span is compromised and
our decision-making capabilities severed.
Overwhelmed by choices, we are terrified to make decisions
for fear of shutting the door to other opportunities. We have been brainwashed
to believe that our wealth of options enable us to have more freedom.
When we can have anything, what do we really want? If all
things are held equal and without judgment, can we really sort through the
plethora of options before us? I think most of us go through our lives without
actually asking ourselves, what do we
value?
There is an assumed life path: go to school, get a job, get
married, have children, and preferably in that order. Despite the options
available, when it comes to the important decisions, we follow this
prescription. We would never expect to follow a one size-fits-all plan for our
clothing, yet we do it for the fabric of our lives. Amidst all of those
options, we need to become more intentional on how we spend our time. As
technology was meant to ease our lives, options are meant to enable us the
freedom of choice. Unfortunately, we have encountered that the existence of
these additional resources have the potential to be counterproductive.
Even being an independent intentional woman, I still feel
myself slip in the trap of society’s gender restrictions. The inspiration
didn’t come to me that day at the gym from the propped up television, but it did make me dig deeper. My workout made
me refocus my efforts, not just in terms of physical fitness, but my
motivations and goals. I cannot and do not want to be that fictional woman that
our media portrays as “successful”. Like the television propped up in front of
me, those commercials illustrate how we are distracted from allowing us to
really delve deeper into what we really want. The pressures are
self-perpetuating, and the more we placate those expectations, the more we will
be sucked into this mirage of womanhood.
We need to recalibrate our thinking to acknowledge the
unrealistic pressures on women; equally, women need to manage their unrealistic
expectations to have it all. Rosie the Riveter is an iconic image that invokes femininity with strength. We are powerfully fierce creatures, but we
are still human.
